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Ever wonder if your trauma means you’re destined to parent imperfectly? In today’s episode, Theraplay expert Dafna Lender shares how all parents mess up – and that’s actually okay!
As a clinical psychologist and post-traumatic parent myself, I was fascinated by Dafna’s perspective on how we can provide healthy childhoods despite our own wounds. She compassionately explains why parents with trauma histories often experience such crushing self-doubt and offers practical ways to rebuild connection through play. What struck me most was Dafna’s story about a mother and adopted daughter who transformed their relationship over two years of treatment – proving healing is possible even in the most challenging circumstances.
If you’ve ever frozen during a parenting moment, felt triggered by your child’s behavior, or wondered if you’re “too damaged” to parent well, this conversation will reassure you that repair is always possible. You’ll learn why those moments when your kids push your buttons can become opportunities for growth rather than shame.
More about Dafna Lender:
Dafna is a family therapy expert and attachment specialist. Dafna is an international trainer and supervisor for practitioners who work with children and families. She is a certified trainer and supervisor/consultant in both Theraplay and Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP), as well as an EMDR therapist. Dafna’s expertise is drawn from 29 years of working with families in many settings: at-risk after school programs, therapeutic foster care, in-home crisis stabilization, residential care and private practice. Dafna’s style, whether as a therapist or teacher, is combining the light-hearted with the profound by bringing a playful, intense and passionate presence to every encounter.
Dafna is author of Integrative Attachment Family Therapy (2023) and the co-author of Theraplay the Practitioner’s Guide (2020). She teaches and supervises clinicians in 15 countries in 4 languages: English, Hebrew, French and Spanish.
Topics covered on Theraplay:
- How does parental trauma affect our ability to be responsive to our children’s needs?
- Why do we feel like our children are “triggering” us, and what can we do about those moments?
- What happens when professionals exclude parents from their child’s therapy sessions?
- How can theraplay help rebuild damaged relationships between parents and children?
- Why do parents without secure attachment models experience more self-doubt?
- How can we explain our trauma responses to our children in age-appropriate ways?
- How long does it really take to repair damaged attachments between parents and children?
Connect with Dr. Robyn Koslowitz:
- Website: www.drrobynkoslowitz.com
- Post Traumatic Parenting Guidebook
- Come say hi on Instagram | Facebook | YouTube
Connect with Dafna Lender:
- Website: www.dafnalender.com
- Integrative Attachment Family Therapy: A Clinical Guide to Heal and Strengthen the Parent-Child Relationship through Play, Co-regulation, and Meaning-Making by Dafna Lender & Molly Gage
- Theraplay® – The Practitioner’s Guide by Vivien Norris & Dafna Lender
Quote:
“Kids give you many, many, many, many, many, many chances. But having a child really confronts you with the same demons that you faced when you were a child, and that’s really challenging.” – Dafna Lender
More about Post Traumatic Parenting:
“How can I give my kids a normal childhood, when mine was anything but?” Post-Traumatic Parenting is the podcast for anyone who has ever asked themselves that question. Robyn Koslowitz, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and Post-Traumatic Parent, combines the fields of post-traumatic recovery and growth with our best understanding of how to raise Little Humans. Through interviews with experts in the fields of behavior science, psychology, trauma, and child development, as well as interviews with toy developers, children’s book authors, and anyone else who makes childhood a delight, Dr. Koslowitz explores how trauma impacts our parenting, and how to hack our traumas into superpowers and super-parenting.
Each week, Dr. Koslowitz unpacks how to survive and thrive as a Post-Traumatic Parent. She shares behind-the-scenes insights into the research that underlies what we know about parenting, child development, and trauma recovery. Each podcast provides actionable tips about how to transform our Post-Traumatic Parenting and how to turn our parenting journey into a post-traumatic growth experience. Dr. Koslowitz interviews some of the famous names in these fields, and some experts you’ve never heard of (but should have!). Ready to go from survivor to thriver? Ready to become the parent you’ve always dreamed of being? Join us!
